School Bullies

Seriously! This is driving me out of my effing mind! So, I was ranting on Facebook, but decided to stop my own personal tantrum and vent it out here!

Remember the two little snotty brats that bullied Hayden last year? Well, they're at it again! And no...it hasn't gone away, but it subsided a bit. Unfortunately it's back. And with a vengeance.

A couple of school moms posted on my rant that "it doesn't get better". Great! Honestly, I never expected it to get better...but I would have never , in my wildest thoughts, we'd be dealing with snotty, bratty bullies this bad in the first grade (or Kindergarten last year for that matter).

The one-sided banter used to consist of..."if you don't_______, then we won't be your friend today". They used to dole out bracelets to the 'chosen few' that were allowed to be their friends each day. That was in Kindergarten.

It's now advanced to taking her things. Hair clips, treats given to her by teachers, jewelry, etc. They tell her that if she doesn't give them _________, then they will go tell the teacher a 'story' on her. So she gives it up. They tell her she's "stupid", "weird", her "clothes and ugly" and that if she tries to play with their friends they will tell on her.

Hayden is fearful. She loathes recess...when in reality, it's most kids favorite subject! She sits by herself often, wishing the time away. I know, I've driven by (to scope things out during lunch recess) and seen her doing so.

It breaks my heart and makes me sad. I've always known she would not have a large group of friends. But She's got a great heart and a lot to give...and sadly, most kids don't even know that about her. They just thinks she's weird and stupid and are annoyed by her.

I'm not sure how to help her combat this. Part of me wants me to let her at them...and the other part wants to help structure some sort of tolerance program at the school. I have a friend in CA who teaches 3rd grade and had a student 2 years ago with Autism. In 2nd grade, he did a presentation with the help of her and her parents to the entire school on Autism Awareness. She said their school bullying dropped in multitudes once they educated their students on children who are not 'typical' and struggle with so many different things.

I'm digressing! The fact that so many of the kids she's around thinks she's weird and are annoyed by her is starting to really weigh on me. I know she's different. I know she doesn't relate to her peers like they do with one another. But for the love of all that's good and holy, would it hurt to try and include her? Not snap at her? Accept her for who she is, whether you understand her or not?

We are all protective of our kids. I've always been a realist and accepted my childrens short-coming, mis-behaviors and strangeties...but the fact that the type of behavior allowed by some of these parents is acceptable (yes, I witnessed one of the girls' parents laughing and thinking her tantrum to all the kids at her birthday party was funny) makes me ill.

Okay...this may not even make sense, as I'm 100mph. I'll proofread later!

"My Moment'"

I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. We were talking about the joys, the heartaches and the stresses of motherhood, (extended) family and our lives as wives. At the end of a statement we both said "And if I had to do it all over again, I would".

Shortly after that, I was having a conversation with another friend and we were talking about the best moments in our married lives. I mentioned that I probably couldn't nail down the exact best moment over the last ten years, but I could come pretty close. At the time, I was thinking my best moment is not just a moment, but moments. Moments spent with Conal and the girls. It's a day at home, where we're all kind of doing our own thing, and then draw together in the afternoon. We make dinner and end with a movie. The house is clean and it feels 'warm' and cozy. Those are my best moments.

She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language, no joke!

Those conversations have resonated so much with me lately. And the thought of doing it all over again, I think about all the time. I'm not sure I believe in destiny or fate, but I just can't imagine my life any other way, and think Conal was in the greater plan for me all along. Believe you me...we are not rolling down hills of green money and parenthood has been no walk in the park. But when realizing that some people relate happiness to monetary goodness, it centers my perspective. And through all of the hard times, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

My love for Conal grows stronger as time progresses. He can make me laugh and cry all at once. He's not affectionate, vulnerable or emotional, but he is tender and sensitive and soulful. He is an AMAZING father, a WONDERFUL friend and an INSPIRING team-mate. I catch myself telling people (when they ask how 'we're doing') that I could not do 'this' if it weren't for him. He is my rock, my compass, and half of my heart. It started beating with his ten years ago and has only picked up rhythm since.

Today, as we celebrate our 10th anniversary, I cannot help but think that the 'canned' vows we said in front of our family and friends still ring true:

"I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad. In sickness and in health, for better and for worse until death do we part".

Except if I were to stand in front of our family and friends I'd change them to a little something like this:

"Over the years that will span our life we are going to incur Paradise. Bliss. Euphoria. We will gain Heartache. Tragedy. Devastation. We are going to Fear and Doubt, we will Encourage and be Confident. And through all of those, we will walk side by side, hand in hand one step at a time. We might yell, and cry and curse. But we will also hug and weep and embrace. We will be the best we can be, and do the best we can do. Moving forth I could imagine nobody else by my side other than you".

Ten years ago, I was more caught up in the wedding than the marriage. My wedding celebration is a great memory, but my marriage is my eternal MOMENT. And if I had to do it all over again, without a doubt, I would.

We've been BOO'd! (twice!)

Cutest thing ever! Last night, the doorbell rang and some giggly little kiddos scampered off! I was cracking up at their giggles!

I opened the door and found this!:

Inside the bucket was this sign!:

And a letter!:

You've Been Boo'd

The air is cool the season Fall

Soon Halloween will come to all

The spooks are after things to do

In fact, a spook brought this this you

"BOO" is a shield from the witching hour

Just hang it up and watch its power

On your front door is where it works

It wards off spooks and scary jerks

The treats that came with crypted note

Are yours to keep, enjoy them both

The power comes when friends like you

Will copy this and make it two

Then others here among our friends

Will give warm fuzzies that do not end

We'll all have smiles upon our face

No one will know who "BOO'ed" whose place

Just two short days to work your spell

Or a big zap will strike your tail

And don't forget the nifty treat,

Like something cute or something sweet

Please join the fun, let's really hear it

And spread some "Boo's" and Halloween spirit.

Instructions:

Please keep it going by following these directions:

1. Enjoy your treat

2. Place the BOO sign on your front door or visible in a window

3. Within 2 days, make 2 copies of this note, make 2 treats and 2 BOO signs

4. Secretly deliver to 2 neighbors/friends who don't have a BOO sign

5. Keep an eye on nearby front doors to see how far and fast it spreads by Halloween