Seriously! This is driving me out of my effing mind! So, I was ranting on Facebook, but decided to stop my own personal tantrum and vent it out here!
Remember the two little snotty brats that bullied Hayden last year? Well, they're at it again! And no...it hasn't gone away, but it subsided a bit. Unfortunately it's back. And with a vengeance.
A couple of school moms posted on my rant that "it doesn't get better". Great! Honestly, I never expected it to get better...but I would have never , in my wildest thoughts, we'd be dealing with snotty, bratty bullies this bad in the first grade (or Kindergarten last year for that matter).
The one-sided banter used to consist of..."if you don't_______, then we won't be your friend today". They used to dole out bracelets to the 'chosen few' that were allowed to be their friends each day. That was in Kindergarten.
It's now advanced to taking her things. Hair clips, treats given to her by teachers, jewelry, etc. They tell her that if she doesn't give them _________, then they will go tell the teacher a 'story' on her. So she gives it up. They tell her she's "stupid", "weird", her "clothes and ugly" and that if she tries to play with their friends they will tell on her.
Hayden is fearful. She loathes recess...when in reality, it's most kids favorite subject! She sits by herself often, wishing the time away. I know, I've driven by (to scope things out during lunch recess) and seen her doing so.
It breaks my heart and makes me sad. I've always known she would not have a large group of friends. But She's got a great heart and a lot to give...and sadly, most kids don't even know that about her. They just thinks she's weird and stupid and are annoyed by her.
I'm not sure how to help her combat this. Part of me wants me to let her at them...and the other part wants to help structure some sort of tolerance program at the school. I have a friend in CA who teaches 3rd grade and had a student 2 years ago with Autism. In 2nd grade, he did a presentation with the help of her and her parents to the entire school on Autism Awareness. She said their school bullying dropped in multitudes once they educated their students on children who are not 'typical' and struggle with so many different things.
I'm digressing! The fact that so many of the kids she's around thinks she's weird and are annoyed by her is starting to really weigh on me. I know she's different. I know she doesn't relate to her peers like they do with one another. But for the love of all that's good and holy, would it hurt to try and include her? Not snap at her? Accept her for who she is, whether you understand her or not?
We are all protective of our kids. I've always been a realist and accepted my childrens short-coming, mis-behaviors and strangeties...but the fact that the type of behavior allowed by some of these parents is acceptable (yes, I witnessed one of the girls' parents laughing and thinking her tantrum to all the kids at her birthday party was funny) makes me ill.
Okay...this may not even make sense, as I'm 100mph. I'll proofread later!
1 year ago
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10 comments:
I'm crying...
I hurt for Hayden :( She has expressed some of these things to me and Papa. She is such a sweetheart and has a huge loving heart. I hurt for you...her Mom, my daughter.
I feel so bad for Hayden and want to rip their hair out by the root!! I think it would help to talk to the teacher. I remember when I was in elementary school and if there was a child who had either a health issue or learning disability, the teacher would address the whole class while the student was out of the room. Kids at that age don't understand and if it's brought to their attention, hopefully they will have some compassion. Although this should be taught in the home, it needs to be reinforced in the classroom. That behavior should not be tolerated. I hope things get better for her soon.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Both of my older boys have been bullied as well. Neither of them told me about it. I found out through the grapevine after it had been going on for quite some time. It broke my heart. As soon as I found out (both times), I called the principle, talked to teachers, etc right away. The principle gave assemblies immediately about bullying. It seemed to have stopped.
As parents, we send our kids off to school trusting that they will be safe. But unfortunatley, kids are mean. All we can do, is teach our kids to be "Bully Proof" and hope they'll have a good day.
Bec, I'm praying for you...kids are mean! Our school has an anti-bullying policy with zero tollerance....although it doesn't stop those lil brats it has made my kids fearful of being bullies...Devyn was bullied last year with the same sort of things Hayden is dealing with...Bec with you and Conal supporting her she will make it through this!! I love you and you are doing a wonderful job raising your girls. God picked you to be their mommy for a reason!Although you may not feel up all the time and you may not know it but you are a real encouragement to myself and others....Keep up the good work!!!
That is so sad. It makes me so scared for Kadie to go to school. Thanks for the awareness, I think you are doing a great job as a parent and I think awareness is the best thing you can do. I would for sure talk to the teacher because I'm sure Hayden isn't the only one being bullied and maybe it could help several children. I pray that this passes for you and Hayden. She is lucky to have you as her mom - stay stong!!
As far as it doesn't get any better.....some people just have that attitude. Don't count on that being the result, who knows...your glass may be half full.
You know how I feel 'bout all this. I get so worked up over it!
I think you're on the right track w/ all that you have on your agenda. I think an anti-bullying assembly along w/ autism awareness is just what her school needs. Go get 'em sister!!!!
I like the idea of a presentation. Some of the Down Syndrome moms do this if their kid is in a typical class. Sometimes it's just awareness. But those bully kids probably have clueless parents too! Sorry to read the post Becca - Hayden is such a joy to your family and I feel for you here.
So sad to hear this, What does Hayden's teacher say? I actually asked Lizzie's teacher during parent teacher conferences if she had any bullying issues in class in general, she said she can't control anything on the playground and said in the class she shuts it down immediately. I don't know of Lizzie experiencing any bullying and she says she hasn't been, but who really knows. Her teacher did tell me that their is one "mean girl" in her class, not sure what that meant. I think it unfortunately at every school and needs to be stopped! Good luck starting a program at your school!
I know I am weighing in late on this subject but ugggg my heart is aching for sweet Hayden and the mother bear in me is wanting to roar! Bec, I hope that since posting this things have gotten better for her. I will still chime in my thoughts even thought I am months behind. :) First off, Hayden has you as a mother for some AMAZING reasons.. Your strong, motivated, full of heart, you have a backbone and you present yourself very well to others. All these attributes are what Hayden needs in her corner. She is WAY ahead of the game because of you!!!! There have been a few issues with my girls at school when they were young and the mother bear in me came roaring and I did not stop until the situation was resolved. Please keep on this Bec, even if things are not solved right away. Hayden will see your effort, see you on her side, see you defending her, see the passionate love you have for your children and THAT will make a lasting affect in her heart and will see her through. In the meantime do all you can do... show up at school unexpected, sit in on the classroom, talk to the principle, TELL them you want something done, speak with the school counselor, call a meeting with teacher, principle, counselor ect and figure out a plan for Hayden. She needs to know what she CAN do when bullying arise. She needs to know that someone at school will have her back and she has someone to turn too. Having a plan of action when any situation arise always gives some comfort to an individual and children are no different. Tell her...When so and so does __________ to you... you do__________. Equip her with the tools to combat what is happening to her. I understand the ache a mother feels when it comes to their children and my best advice to you is "follow through... follow through... follow through." When you think it is all over... keep checking on it!!! Again, I hope this is not an issue anymore for Hayden. Would you please let me know?
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