CMS

About three years ago, my sister and I noticed something rather peculiar (to us) going on with the Mommys of little kids our kids age. Alien invasion? Stepford Syndrome? Nope. Something we've affectionately coined "Competitive Mommy Syndrome". I'll call it CMS.

Hayden and Cooper were just starting to get involved in activities around 3 years old. Soccer, gymnastics and preschool. They didn't participate in any of these activities together, but when Pam and I would chat we found one common virus spreading through Tempe, Chandler, Gilbert and Queen Creek. CMS.

What is it, you ask? It is the syndrome that takes over a Mommy once her offspring pops out of the shoot. 'My baby is a miracle baby. He's holding his head up at 3 days old. He's sitting at 2 months and walking at 8 months. My baby has teeth at 4 months, he's such a genious! Even though Ethel is only 4 we have her on a cycling team, dance and piano. We're testing her in to Kindergarten because she's gifted, brightest one in the bunch.'

BARF!!! Gimme a break people! Your bambino is not holding her head up at 3 days, her reflexes are flinching. She's sitting at 2 months because you're propping her against pillows. AND, newsflash, your child IS NOT a genious because he cut some teeth. Nope! Sorrrrry :) That's nature taking over, not intellect.

Over the last year and a half, I really haven't 'put myself out there', as Hayden was in a quiet private school, where I was really one of the only Mommys involved. She didn't participate in any extra-curricular activities...but I still loved revelling in my sisters stories. As that light shone bright for her last year.

And now. Now we are in Kindergarten. This is what so many of those Mommies have been waiting for. Gladys' moment to shine. Stuart's turn in the spotlight. Well MOMMYS, have I got news for you. I work in the classroom for an hour a week. And no, that does not qualify me to make a diagnosis on your child, or give him the pass or fail, BUT, it does qualify me to laugh at you silently when you tell me that you're "afraid Gidget is going to be a bully. Even though she's the youngest in the class, she's so dramatic and such a leader that all the kids are going to replicate her. But she's just too gifted to make her wait another year". YES...that was told to me on Saturday!
To that I write: Dear Gidgets Mom, Don't worry about the kids copying Gidget in her Kindergarten class. This week while I was helping her with her 'sorting' she decided to sort boogers. She pulled 3 out, one for her first three fingers. She then 'sorted' them by size before rolling them into a ball and and tucking it under her tongue".
And when Willy's parent told me that their son is the "Alpha and Omega" and there will not be anymore kids or grandkids because their whole family is "solely focusing on the great things he's destined for",
I say: Dear Willy's Parent, Congrats on the Alpha and Omega! I'm sure Willy is going to grow up and be a success and make your family proud. But at 5 years old, he is a typical boy! He can musical fart like no little kid I've ever known. They produce a melodic range and a sulfuric smell. His talents starburst spectacularly on the rainbow mat while everyone is sitting there quietly and he's rolling on his back with his legs in the air.

I love these kids. I love kids! And what I love about them is their innocence, their curiosity, their ambivalence!

I'm not sure if CMS is Mommy's way of reliving her youth through her child. Or if Mommy is afraid that her kids are not going to make friends on their own, so she has to push and shove and show everyone how spectacular her baby is. I'm not so sure that Mommy is confident in realism. Acknowledging that her son is just like everyone else is OKAY. And it makes the rest of us feel normal!

I don't know, I don't get it. But what I do witness is that there are a heckuva lotta Mommy's out there who will not just let their kids be kids (at least not while talking about them). Let them fall while climbing on the jungle gym, let them write a 'D' backwards and count to 20 skipping 14. Perfectionism in not perfect. It's okay. It's how we learned. Every finisher is not a winner. Odds are, your kids will turn out just fine. Some average, some above average. But let them figure that out on their own. Don't map their destination for them, guide it.

**Names have no relevance
**And this pertains to NOBODY that reads my blog!
**Phew... /wipes brow!