Breaking Free

That is the title to one of Hayden's favorite songs. It's in the High School Musical movie. It's a duet with the two main characters singing about breaking free of stereotypes or labels. I never thought much about the song, know all the lyrics, and actually sing along to it with Hayden when it's playing. She listens to it on the tv, in her room, in the car and belts it out while she's playing outside....swinging, mostly.

We've noticed such a positive change in her over the last three months. We've had one comment after another, and many mentions of her emotional and social strides lately. Since she started her new school, her therapy, and home treatment we seem to see Hayden "Breaking Free". That's not to say everyday is a walk in the park. But it's not with an 'average' four year old either. There are some days where Hayden seems so far beyond her age and her noteable limitations....and there are others where we just wonder if she's in there. There's a noticeable disconnect. She's still battling obvious challenges with her cognitive skills, fine motor skills and auditory processing. I think for quite some time to come that will be apparent. But we're learning how to help her cope (along with ourselves), and we're definately noticing more encouraging days then not lately with her overall well-being.

As she's completed 3 months of occupational therapy and 3 months of school; she's learning, she's absorbing, she's soaring! Her teachers are noticing a change in her. Her confidence level is rising and she's actually interacting with the other children. That is not every school day, however it's now about half of the time. We'll take it! We are fully aware that different environments and social settings trigger her tendancies. But we're also learning how to help her find solace when she's anxious, nervous or scared. She still "stims" regularly, but structuring her days has really decreased that.

We know that she will, likely, through out different phases in her life, stall or possibly even backpeddal. Not everything is as clear as the open road---but who doesn't stall or backpeddal? It's a way of life! We'll be here every step to help her maneuver her way. The unknown is, just that, unknown. But we've got such a great support system surrounding her and a few people to help guide us, that we've jumped in head first and feel like we're covering some ground. I know just a few shorts months after all of this seemed to come to a head that I can't rejoice and or deny what type of challenges face her. But education goes a long way. We've been educating ourselves, therefore making us stronger, more able, and more confident, giving us the proper tools we need to help guide her. There's even more to say for Early Intervention. As scared as we've been that we may have missed the window, each and every day I feel like we might have just slipped in through a slight crack. I'm starting to see a glimmer of hope and promise that we're not too late!

So, I've kind of gone full circle here. Today Hayden was swinging, singing Breaking Free. Something caught my attention and I listened to her grapple her way through the lyrics. It may seem kind of cheesey, but even though she doesn't know the true meaning of the song, it seems fit for her....down the road she will call her journey.

Breaking Free

We’re soarin’, flyin’

There’s not a star in heaven

That we can’t reach

If we’re trying

So we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us

In a way that’s different than who we are

Creating space between us

‘Til we’re separate hearts

But your faith it gives me strength

Strength to believe

Can you feel it building

Like a wave the ocean just can’t control

Connected by a feeling

Ohhh, in our very souls

Rising ‘til it lifts us up

So every one can see

We’re breakin’ free

We’re soarin’, flyin’

Were runnin’

Ohhhh, climbin’

To get to the place

To be all that we can be

Now’s the time

So we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us

In a way that’s different than who we are

Mommy has whiskers

"Ouch! Mommy, your whiskers are cutting me!!"

Hayden made a bed on the couch for the two of us to share this morning. She was at the "head" and I was the "butt" --- snicker, snicker...glares out of the corner of her eye to see if she's going to get in trouble for saying "butt". I let it go. Although I did inform her I was at the FOOT, not the butt!

So, we're laying opposite one another until she decides she's going to sneak under the sheet and try to scare me (because I can't see her go under and wiggle and giggle her way across the couch). She gets to my knees and piped in with a brisk " Ouch! Mommy, your whiskers are cutting me!". I said "What, I don't have whiskers." I was totally confused. My four year old outsmarted me, I never thought of myself has having whiskers, only Daddy's have whiskers!Guess I should shave my legs a little more often!

Bootcamp Progress

I have one more week left of Boot Camp, but sadly I'm having to miss these last two weeks due to my crazy busy work schedule. I'm really bummed. I was enjoying it immensely and I'm actually seeing results. As for the lb's, they're not really dropping as much as I thought they would ..but the inches have been melting away! I've lost over 2 1/2 inches in my stomach since I began 5 weeks ago. I'm still doing Weight Watchers...although I do cheat (pasta is my weakness these days) from time to time. I've definately changed my eating habits, I stay away from fast food, chips and alcohol and I allow myself only 1 fat Coke a week! So, I'd say I've set myself up on the road for success. I'm still working out at the gym regularly and my boot camp has taught me great variation of workouts to do on my own. I have signed up for an intense boot camp style class at the gym that's on Thursdays. It starts mid-April, so I'll pick that up and once work slows down (I'll get layed off in May or June) then I'll really kick my butt in gear (I hope!). So in the meantime, I'm proud of myself for sticking in through. That may sound contradictory since I'm not finishing to the end, but I feel I've been successful and am not quitting by choice by any means. I look forward to what my future holds in becoming a more healthy and active mommy.

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday was a fun day, especially for the girls. We went to the Coxes for a big picnic/potluck. They deep pitted a turkey and some pork and boy, was it delicious! There were 9 (I think) kids there, all the same age. They had fun running, chasing, jumping and hunting for eggs together. The 'big' kids had fun playing horseshoes and cowboy golf, and I even bounced around with the real kids on the trampoline for awhile! My mom bought the girls dresses in Capri, Italy. They looked just beautiful. Memaw braided Hayden's hair and Taylor actually left her clippie in all day. I will post some better pictures of the girls later. I used Pam's camera to take 'good' pictures of them!

Bartlett Lake

The four amigos (as we affectionately call ourselves!) enjoyed the day at Bartlett Lake on Saturday. It was a perfect day for boating. A few folks actually jumped into the 60-ish degree water, but Conal and I took the smart route and stayed warm on board! There's no denying it, summer's on it way.

Conal, Becca, Melissa, Chris

Decorating Eggs

Last Thursday I set up shop in the middle of the backyard for the girls to decorate Easter eggs. They had a ton o' fun!

Mini-Minnie

Taylor LOVES to play dress up!

Dorothy

I feel guilty, like I'm leaving a member of the family out. So, here goes another animal post. This time, I'm posting on our male beta fish, Dorothy. Hayden named him proudly after Elmo's fish! Dorothy came to us in January when Memaw thought Hayden needed a fish bowl (with the encouragement of my Aunt and my SISTER <----I'm sure of!). Not just any fish bowl....a fish, fish bowl. Look closely at the picture (don't mind the FISH flashcard). Yes, it's a fish with a bowl sitting on top, that graces my kitchen counter. Not many safe places to put it with a wirey 4 year old and curious 1 year old running amuck. We have since had to replace the bowl, as the original sprung a crack one day. We thought we would've had to replace Dorothy by now...but no, he just keeps swimmin' away. I'm not kidding, I feel like I'm living on a funny farm...in the middle of a city block!

Adjustment

Yesterday morning, I woke up wondering what on Earth I did to myself taking on a puppy. As if I need just one more thing on my plate right now! She cried all night Monday night. Well, she cried until about 1:00a when I finally went and slept on the couch with her on my chest. She's like a little baby. Although I didn't mind getting up in the middle of the night with my babies, something about the puppy just got to me! However, come morning time yesterday, when it was light out and I could see her face, I fell back in love with her! I questioned every person that I talked to yesterday, looking for advice on what to do with her at night so she won't cry. I can tune the crying out, but Conal and the kids can't. She kept them up Monday night too.

Anyhow, I ended up trying Pam's advice last night. I figured I had so many tips from so many helpful friends, that if that didn't work, I'd just start going down the list. So, I put a leash on her collar and tied it to the bedpost at the head of my bed. I put pee-pee pads down in case of an accident (which she's yet to have), and I layed a nice old blanket over those. When it was time to come to bed I layed down with her on the floor for about 30 seconds rubbing her belly and she was out! She woke up a couple of times, basically repositioning herself. I'd throw my arm down, she'd lick it for a second and go back to sleep. She woke up around 2a a little restless so I took her out to do her business and she came back in and went right to sleep. She slept until 7a!

Not sure how I'm going to feel about 3 big dogs in the bedroom once she's grown, but Daphne takes the closet, Chloe the foot of the bed, so I guess it's only natural for Sophie to take my side. As Meghan said, what's one more tumbleweed of black dog hair, right?! Can someone please remind me of this great attitude I have come July when 2 kids, 3 shedding dogs, and I have been couped up in this house for 3 months and I'm batten at the walls?!?!

Sophie

Meet the newest member of our family!SOPHIE

We were enjoying a nice lazy Sunday. We ate an early dinner and then got a phone call from Memaw and Papa wanting to stop by for a few minutes. They came over around 4:30 and stayed for about an hour. About 10 minutes after they left the door bell rang. I saw their car out front and figured they forgot something. When I opened the door this adorable, approximately 2 month old, puppy was shaking in my dad's arms. It was love at first sight! The girls went nuts over her, especially Taylor. We waited about an hour before introducing her to our other dogs. Daphne wasn't phased and Chloe was a bit protective. She was sniffing her like crazy and not letting her cross the back patio onto the grass. We told Hayden all evening that we are just going to keep her until her family comes forward with signs looking for her. That there is a good chance we'll have to give her back. So, all evening she kept telling us that Sophie wasn't ours but we're going to take good care of her!

By nightfall, Chloe and Sophie were good friends. Daphne was happily asleep in her closet and I was slowly drawing more attached to this beautiful little puppy that looks like she was made for our family.

By morning time, I've decided that giving up Sophie is really low on my priority list. I don't know her situtation. Although Conal really thinks she was dumped. She had no collar, doesn't have a 'chip', and my parents said that she was running, frantically, lost and very scared. She came straight to my Dad when he called her. If the case is that she escaped from someone's home, I'm not sure that their home is secure enough for her to live there. And, why wouldn't they be posting signs around the neighborhood or on the web. The girls and I drove through about 4 sq. miles of neighborhoods this morning looking for signs for this little lost puppy and we haven't found a single one. So, we went to PetSmart and bought her some pee-pee pads for night time and a plethora of Nylabones! (We picked up some treats for Chloe and Daphne too!)I know puppies are a lot of work. I've always told Conal I'd NEVER have a puppy! We locked her in a run in the kitchen last night and she whimpered. She piped up twice and I let her out both times at 12:30a and 3:00a to go pee-pee. She's a chewer, she's got super-sharp little puppy teeth and she's quite fiesty. But those eyes suck you in and that puppy belly just melted my heart. She's yet to have an accident in the house, although I know not to count that out! I've got some work cut out for me, but I think, in the long run, we'll be so glad she stayed.

I will keep my eye out for signs, but I think if she is a "missing" puppy, her owners should've looked a lot harder for her. And at this point, how am I going to really tell my girls she has to go away? Oh, who am I kidding....how am I going to tell myself she has to go away?

Rawhide

I took the girls to Rawhide on Thursday. It's a very touristy, replica of an old western town. They, especially Hayden, had a great time. Taylor was a little burnt because she wasn't big enough to ride the Burro's.

A sad Taylor couldn't stay sad for long once she saw my camera come out. She LOVES to cheese it up!

Gettin' ready for the best Burro ride in the west.

I think this was Taylor's favorite. She really loved talking to the "doggies"!

Hayden struck it rich panning for gold.

It's Electrifyin'

Waiting, Patiently

A typical morning in our household usually starts around 8-ish, give or take a few! Tay's an early riser (well, those that know me real well know early is anything before 9a)! On average I hear her stirring around 7:30 but she doesn't really get going until about 8. Hayden on the other hand, can sleep like her Mommy....during the winter, that is. Now that it seems (note: SEEMS- because I won't open my eyes that early to check) to be getting lighter sooner, she's waking up earlier. And earlier, and earlier. In fact, she's surpassing Tay. Yesterday I came stumbling out of my room around 8:10 and there sat Hayden outside of Tay's room waiting, patiently for her to wake up. She had a couple of toys and even a bottle ready for little sister. I'm assuming she got the bottle out of the sink from the night prior...I know I didn't make 2 oz of day old formula that early in the morning!

I was able to snap a quick photo before she heard a tiny little squeal and ran into the room to start what has been a morning ritual for the two of them the last couple of weeks. They turn up the radio is Tay's room as loud as it goes, and start "cooking" breakfast on her stove. Then, they bring me my "eggs" (in bed, of course) and turn on Disney Channel. They sit here for oh, about 2 minutes and then they're off!

Their energy is boundless....my eyes are puffy....and Chloe is totally annoyed (she's not a morning person, er...Dog, either). It's a fun start to another day and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Budding Photog

Look out Annie Leibovitz, here comes Tay! Taylor (23 mos.) took this picture of her Daddy!

Ooey, Gooey and Oh So Yummy

The girls had a blast roasting marshmallows in the backyard!

They had even more fun eating them!

This One's for the Girls!

In celebration of International Women's Day, I just want to thank all the girls in my life. At some point you've all laughed, cried, vented, squealed, wished and dreamed with me. Thanks! (Of course, not just limited to the ones in pictures!)

Railroad Park

On Saturday, March 1st, we took the kids to the McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park in Scottsdale. It happened to be the busiest day of the year (lucky us), as they were having a carnival. It was crowded, but the girls had a blast. They got to get into a fire truck and pet some cute little animals at the petting zoo. We also went on a couple of train rides and a carousel. Hayden said the carousel was "dirty and not as pretty as the animal one at the zoo", however, she rode it twice. Must not have been that bad!

Miss Dina

The girls' OT, Miss Dina, sure is a blessing to the field of occupational therapy! She's such a great asset to our family, and both of the girls absolutely LOVE Thursday's when she comes to "play", as Hayden calls it. Whether it be finger painting with shaving cream in the bathroom, making snow out of water and some science experimental (it seems) powdery stuff, or just snapping into a green body sock, my girls have a blast. They don't realize that they're actually 'working' on their senses,but it's a good thing, I'm sure. If they knew it was work, they wouldn't want to play!!

Hup 2, 3, 4

Besides the fact that I'm tired of being the 'fat girl in a bathing suit' (queue Tommy Boy's: fat guy in a little coat!).....I can't quite figure out what in the world possessed me to join Boot Camp! My friend Bonnie invited me to join with her. She's done it before, even took home the prize last time she did it. 15 minutes into the first session as I'm stuck in a chair-sit position against the air, NOT a chair, I couldn't get the thought out of my mind....'friends don't let friends suffer, let's go get a drink!'

I mean, obviously, I knew when I signed up that this wasn't going to be a stroll around the mall looking for the latest trends in pretzels and lattes. But good God did it kick my butt. I guess a dose of reality...a Super Sized dose, was what I got. Being an athlete at the top of my game for more then half of my life, I think I've lived the last 13 years or so still categorizing myself as that. I really, truly think that in the way far back nether regions of my mind, I thought, oh that's no biggy, I could get off the couch and train for a month or two and be superfit if I wanted. I'll take a couple laps around the track and sign up for the next PF Changs 1/2 marathon. I was a swimmer, and a runner, I'm built for endurance, piece of cake. WRONG!! For the first time ever, I was bringing up the rear....the true caboose! And let me tell ya, this caboose was definately weighed down with some extra coal. Wait, I think coal goes in the front? Well, whatever...I was slow, heavy footed and huffin' and puffin' as if I'm a 2 pack-a-dayer!

50 minutes into this session called Boot Camp I was visualizing the characters of the Biggest Loser. I feel really bad, I'm so critical of them. When they stop running halfway through their challenge, I'm yelling at the tv..."kick it in the butt, you've only got 20 feet left"! Now I know how they feel. Although, I never quit! I never walked! I never sat down! I perservered and pushed through every ounce of pain that my mega jiggly quads were feeling! I literally feel like I hit a wall....like my legs had cinder blocks in them. But they didn't, and I played a true game of mind over matter with myself. 60 minutes later and we finished. I completed my first night. I felt proud, accomplished. I've never been a quitter, and I wasn't going to start now, but it truly challenged my mind, body and spirit.

As the day after has progressed, I can hardly move! I make slight moans and noises, but, I went back to the gym this afternoon for a good, brisk workout on the treadmill and some stretching exercises and I'm looking forward to night 2 of Boot Camp. Did I just say that? Yah, you know what, I'm looking forward to it, I can't wait!!

(bleep)!