And the list goes on....

It's not that my ONLY RESOLUTION is to lose weight. I figured, since I'm on a roll lately, I may as well try really, really hard to keep it up!

What roll? Well, it seems that the magical year of age 31 really thrust me into adult maturity. I, who never really seemed ON THE OUTSIDE to have a problem with confidence and sense of self, gained some. It's hard to believe, but I do believe that even the most confident of persons has self doubt, insecurites and a lost sense of worth. I, being a seemly confident, outgoing individual, have always battled that. Even more so once I moved to a state where I knew virtually nobody and was on my own to make my way, find my own friends and establish my own life.

I've been working on these. Some over the year, a couple over the last two or three months. It's amazing how great I feel. Here are my revelations:

People Pleasing. It's an instinct in my family. We are people pleasers, that's what we do. To others, to EACH other. We are very silly about that. We are so afraid of hurting each other's feelings, even if over the pettiest of requests, that we never say No. This year, I established the rule with my mom. If you don't want to (usually in regards to watching the kids) say No. And she has. I haven't gotten my feelings hurt. She's asked me to do things, like a Sunday dinner, when I've said No. And she didn't get her feelings hurt. I've learned we are not breakable, it's okay to say No, and nobody will be offended. If they are, they will have to get over it. Family, friends and employers alike. I think it's important to things with a willing heart. If you haven't one, opt out, and resume when you do!
So, in 2009, I would like to continue on my quest to not feel the need to have to please everyone. I need to remember that I am not letting the world down by saying No.

Detox. I have been distancing myself from what I call "toxicity". (I don't know if that's even a real word, but it's what I call it!) This kind of relates to the people pleaser. I feel like I've been the 'Yes Girl' long enough. Agreeing with things I don't really agree with, to save an argument. Not standing up for myself or my beliefs, for sake of confrontation. This year, I decided to make my voice heard. Not that I welcome an argument by any means. I fear confrontation worst of all. However, if need be, I will stand my ground and not be backed into a corner. I think it will show my daughters when they're older POLITELY be strong, stand up for what they believe in and don't cower for the sake getting along. In 2009, I hope to feel comfortable and confident with my life, my choices and my opinions.

Empathy. I feel I've always had a great sense of empathy for others. I am sensitive, and the longer that Conal and I are married, he is becoming more sensitive. I think it's a wonderful characteristic. We do not cry at the drop of a hat, not that type of sensitivity. But more of a sense of empathy. A sense of humanity, care for others, their feelings, situations and opinions. The definition for Empathy reads: Empathy is the 'capacity' to recognize or understand another's 'state of mind' or emotion. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes", or in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself. We care about others, their feelings and reactions.

Don't Get Involved. My mom and sister gave me some wonderful advice not that long ago. Their advice was to let it go and get less involved. Hold my ground and protect my guard, but don't get 'caught up'. Mind to myself. Well, I really took that girl talk to heart and have followed that, and try very hard to remind myself of that each day, in other aspects of my life as well. I won't be sucked in to the negativity. And since I've adapted this mentality, it's amazing how free I feel. I was having such stress over things that I shouldn't have, that were not my fault nor my problem, but were thrown onto Me. In 2009, I am going to continue working on this, as it's some of the best advice I've received....maybe Ever!

In short, I've been decluttering my life. I've been working on it hard, and I find myself feeling successful. Which gives me motivation to stay on this task. I find my relationship with my husband thriving more than ever. I find my love for little simple things, far outweighing anything greater. I find myself comfortable with who I am, who I'm evolving into. I feel proud that I can lead my children by example and not have to be ashamed of how I treat others, or talk to them, or about them. That I can be a friend, a sister, a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, a confidant. And live true to it.
This post, that I thought would be a couple of paragraphs, has come full circle. I started by saying it's my resolution. I've decided instead, it's my vow. I am vowing, not resolving (cuz you know, we break those!), to continue being myself. It feels good, I am not perfect and will slip up, but I will be okay with that. I will be happier to me and others for doing so.

EDIT later in the day on 1/4: After re-reading this...I guess I could've made a LONG vow short by saying...DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! ;o)