Developmental and Educational Update. Both of the girls

I had a very coincidental (and hopefully fateful) phone meetup with a very nice woman named Pat on Wednesday. After being redirected, twice, around the CUSD, I made contact with the woman who was going to schedule Hayden's speech/language eval (it's time for a new one). By way of conversation after introducing myself with just my first and last name, she mistook my identity. Sort of. See, she has "another Marquette". After a few more questions that I threw her way, I asked her if her 'other Marquette' was named Taylor. Sure as heck it was. And I was meeting with her, a school psychologist and Taylor's support coordinator the next day (Thursday), for Taylor's transition conference. AND...instead of make me wait for Hayden's district pshychologist consult at the end of February, she did a little maneuvering and piggy-backed my appointments. What a break! I don't typically have that sort of luck!
After feeling like I caught a break, a good one at that, I went into a bit of a panic mode. I had about 26 hours, to get all of Hayden's paperwork ready. That doesn't sound too unreasonable since I'm highly organized with both of the girls files. But, I had to make copies of almost 300 pages of evaluations, her birth certificate and ss card, immunization sheet, my driver license and our recent utility bill. Yes, because it's the school district, we had to have two forms of documentation proving that we do indeed, live in the city. And, we had plans that evening and weren't going to be home until a bit later, so I did all of my gathering that night, and got the girls up and dressed, and put together fun packs for them to sit on the floor and behave at the store while I made copy after copy just a couple of hours before my meeting.
So...fast forward to my conference on Thursday. Conal was unable to go with me, because it was initially just a conference for Taylor (which I do most of her stuff by myself). Since we're in the beginning stages and just learning about Hayden, he tries to attend this type of stuff with me. It was so last minute though, that he wasn't able take the day off.
I arrive to the meeting, which we're reviewing Tay first, with huge butterflies in my stomach, anxiety and nerves running wild. Taylor's conference went great. She will be using the district for her Speech Therapy beginning the week after her birthday and can attend their preschool until the end of the school year if I would like her to. And then, after a set of testing and evaluations, they will determine if she can just attend a speech session once a week or if she's still needing ongoing therapy, which would mean she would have to attend their preschool next Fall. I'm just going to roll with those motions right now, as I'm pretty confident she will be able to attend St. Tim's next Fall and just go weekly for her speech, since she's doing so well.
After that appointment concluded, Tay's support coordinator stayed with me so I didn't have to be alone for my meeting regarding Hayden. I didn't ask her too, but she thought the support would be nice. She's a single mom who has two sons, both with developmental issues, one mild and one severe, and she said that just the thought of always having someone to sit next to her makes her feel comforted and she wanted to do that for me. So nice.
As I pulled out Hayden's loads of paperwork the psychologist started interviewing me. She asked me questions that were very easy to answer. Questions that's responses are typical. Typical in the life of Hayden. But as we delved deeper into her psyche, her emotions and what seems to inspire her and what seems to frighten her; and what her average day is like, I started to cry. I can talk about her challenges, in a whole. But when I really think about them, and break them down, I can't seem to keep my composure. It didn't help that my emotions were on high alert that day anyhow. I cried numerous times through the morning, just knowing that what lied ahead of me that day was crucial. Crucial because Hayden still hasn't been accepted for services from DES, so, if the school district agrees with her diagnosis, and she meets their guidelines after they do their own evaluations, then she can recieve services through the school, at least.
So, as I'm crying, and apologizing profusely, the school psych. brings me a box of tissue and starts printing me up a slew of informational documentation about the different programs CUSD, in addition to other local organizations, offer to children and families with varying degrees of Autism. She reassured me that I'm not the first to fall apart. She sees it all the time. That this epidemic called Autism has stunned everyone, professionals, doctors, parents, teachers, everyone. As Pat, the head of the LEP program in Chandler explained to me the varying options for special education, the psych. continued going through Hayden's paperwork. As it turns out, they think she's a candidate for the LEP program in Chandler. It's a relatively newer program for children with higher functioning Autism and Aspergers. It stands for Learning Enrichment Program, and is a program that starts at the first grade. There are about 12 kids in the classes and it's only offered at select schools in the district. They're goal is to mainstream the child when they are ready and comfortable at a steady pace. They teach through the same curriculum and workbooks that the mainstream class does, but they dual teach; with social charts. That's a visionary chart that depicts the day and events in pictures. Which, as most of you know, is the best way we know how to help educate Hayden. So, as they're telling me about this program, I can't help but feel a little optimistic. I felt some excitement and saw a little hope. They asked me my biggest fears in sending Hayden to school. I addressed them as my first being large class sizes. I know that should she have a large class, she will get lost in the mix. And if we start her off lost, we are doing such a disservice to her. I said that I worry about her "getting it". Understanding what's going on. Like how to get to the bathroom and back without wandering here, there or everywhere. Or what to do at lunch time. Or interacting with kids on the playground and not sitting in the corner drawing in the sand by herself.
They said that the LEP class sounds ideal for her. They help address all of those issues. And also, help the high functioning child learn to feel comfortable with their disability and how to function on such a level that they might not seem as misfitted. She'll always have social struggles, as that's what Autism causes. But learning how to manage those is huge, for now and her whole life. Which is also what her doctors are so optimistic of. With the proper help and guidance, they're always telling us that they think she's going to overcome and mainstream herself into society really well.
So, she is not a shoe-in for this program. She has to test in. If she is accepted, she will start the first grade in July instead of kindergarten, due to her age. On her diagnosis, she scores (on their numerical scale) with moderate Autism, which typically will not get you in to be able to test for LEP. But because of the interview I had with them, and all of the other evaluations leading up to her diagnosis, they are going to test her and see where she rates. If she doesn't qualify, then she will either be mainstreamed or in a special education class (there was a name for it,but I can't remember). At at that point, I will figure out what plan I'm going with. I've been really conflicted on what to do with her for school in the Fall, so I've got a Plan A, B and C right now! <---in no particular order ;)
So, again, I feel optimistic and hopeful. If there is anything I've learned over the last few years it's not to get my hopes up. Not to take anybody's word for anything, and that I cannot control what I have no control over. I will not say I cannot worry about what I have no control over because that's just not possible.
I have been a massive mess of stress and angst lately trying to figure out Hayden's future. I feel like that clock is running down and I was no further last Tuesday than I was last September, or the one before. But Thursday, gave me a little ground. So this 'bumped up' appointment was just the boost of optimism, the glimmer of hope that I needed! Her first series of tests are on February 27.