Life to the fullest

It's the thought of drudging through the great unknown. You know it's common. You know it's something that's done every day, in some place, to some one. In fact, six thousand times in 2007 where he's resting right now. However when it's your Dad, your Daddy, none of that seems to matter.
I don't think I'm quite surprised and honestly, I'm not scared. But to see half of the pair whose protected me, nurtured me, consoled me throughout my life be scared himself...it breaks my heart. It's a helpless feeling. A hollow feeling. A loss of control, I can't protect him. Maybe it's the mother in me? The feeling where you are always there to wipe the tears, rub the back or kiss the boo-boo. And that one time that your baby hurts so bad and you weren't there makes you ache. From your fingers to deep in your soul.
I ache for him. I just want tomorrow to come and go. So he can start to heal. So he can start to laugh. So he can start to live. In a way he hasn't lived in a long time. I think he's going to notice how bad he was feeling without even knowing it. He says he's felt good, but I know it's going to awaken his senses.
In true fashion, he's worried about my mom, he's worried about my sister and I seeing him with tubes connected to him, he's worried about his grandbabies. He's a giver...he's generous and kind. He's protective and the greatest joy in his life is taking care of his family. And through all of his nerves....all of his anxiety....all of his angst, he's worried about us. That's who he is, that's what he does.
So, tomorrow is going to be a big day. A heavy day, a long day. But it's going to be the start of a great day. He might not realize it tomorrow, or Tuesday or next week even. But it's going to kick off 52 more years of living....life to the fullest.